


The Reality of Acceptance

by aserene



Series: Judgement Day Rewritten [3]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Judgement Day AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25712368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aserene/pseuds/aserene
Summary: "Sometimes things aren't so simple, Abby. Sometimes you can't control the outcome. Sometimes you have to look at the reality in front of you and accept it." - Jenny Shepard, "Dog Tags"Or the one where Gibbs doesn't agree with Jenny on the acceptance part.
Relationships: Jethro Gibbs/Jenny Shepard
Series: Judgement Day Rewritten [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1737406
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	1. The Reality of Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. 
> 
> Author's Notes: This was originally published in 2008. It's not quite finished, but it ends at a point that could be a new beginning so it may stay there, or someday I might go back and add more. Originally this was a one-shot (just the first chapter), then I shifted points of view and decided no, that wasn't the final story. 
> 
> And yes, this falls into my Judgement Day AUs.

Jennifer Shepard stood in front of the apartment door, the keyring with the various keys resting in her palm. This was to be her first stop of the evening, which would culminate in her flying to LA for the funeral of a colleague and to her judgment. Things had an interesting way of playing out. Just two weeks ago, she stood in the lab of a woman she looked upon as a daughter and saw what made her believe that what she was doing was right. It had been Abigail Scuito who had given her the courage to do what she was going to do, to stick to her beliefs. She wasn't sure Abby would appreciate learning that, though. She inserted the key in the lock and turned it, silence. It was unusual for her to enter this apartment and find no noise. The few times she'd been it, there was always energy flowing through it and the bouncy Goth she had grown to care for.

"Abby?" She called softly. Nothing. She was glad there was no answer; it made what she was about to do easier. She entered into the darkened bedroom and found the loveable Goth in her coffin. She smiled the way only someone who understood the Goth could. Abby was curled up with Bert her loveable farting hippo; her blankets all messed up. Jenny carefully pulled the sheets back around her, tucking her in. "Goodbye, Abby, take care of him," she whispered before turning and leaving. She locked the door behind her and retreated down the stairs and out of the building. Waiting on the darkened street was her car with her usual detail. She would meet Ziva and Tony at the airport midmorning. At the moment, she hoped they were sound asleep in their beds if they happened to be sharing a bed, more power to them.

"Director, I really think..."

"Not now, Matt, next stop."

"Yes, Director." She got in the car and watched the scenery as they pulled up to a manageable apartment building, close to a jogging park. She entered the building using another key and walked up to the top floor and the corner apartment. She opened the door slowly, knowing that Ziva might detect this. She had a plan if Ziva happened to wake up, but she was hoping her friend wouldn't. She entered the modestly decorated apartment and found the bedroom door cracked open. If Ziva had been with someone, she would have closed it.

"Ziva?" She whispered. No answer except the turn of a body, no doubt closer to the gun stored under the pillow. Jenny sat gently down, and Ziva, if sensing her presence, moved closer to her friend. Jenny carefully ran her fingers through her friend's hair, watching her sleep peacefully. "Stay out of trouble, my friend," she began gently. "You take care of Tony, I think he might be a keeper," she added with a soft kiss to her friend's forehead. "I'll settle our debt."

She stood as Ziva seemed to stir some more and carefully made her way out of the apartment. She locked the door and the bolts and returned to the staircase to wait and see if she'd been discovered. There was no noise, so she guessed she'd gotten away with it. She returned to the car, grateful that Matt simply opened the door and closed it. She gave the next direction, and the vehicle sped off. The following scenery made Jenny smile for the first time in a while, it was very fancy, and she knew very well off people who lived in the area. It had always amused her that Tony lived in the neighborhood. She had still pegged him as the type who didn't like the money, but she knew it was because this apartment was something Gibbs had suggested, and if Gibbs said it was okay, then his loyal St. Bernard could only follow along.

"Director..." Matt began again.

"Only a few more stops, the next one we don't even have to drive to."

"Very well, Director." Jenny smiled at his hesitancy. He didn't like that she'd wanted to leave that house at two-thirty in the morning to see some people. He would never ask what she was doing, he knew better, but still _ , it is early. _ Jenny adjusted her coat and continued into the fancy apartment. She'd been there once, to check on him after Gibbs had left for Mexico, and she'd never gone back. Jenny double checked on the roster and went toward the door. She opened it quickly with another key on her chain and entered.

In contrast to Ziva having her bag right by the door with her coat resting on top, Jenny could see the clothes sprawled over the couch in the living room, the bag resting on the coffee table and the trail of shoes to the bedroom door. Surprisingly she found her quarry curled up on the couch with the Screen of a James Bond DVD on the TV.  _ Oh, Tony _ , she sighed amusedly.

"Tony," she said gently, not wanting to startle him. There was nothing. She moved slightly closer; he was there lying sound asleep with a picture of him and Ziva sitting next to him. "You've got it bad," she sighed aloud. "One day you're going to learn that Gibbs made up rule 12 to protect himself, because once a young agent and he had an affair. They loved each other, but she left, and you know what Gibbs is like. Don't be like us, Tony. You're like Gibbs, but you don't have to be him." She stood. "And clean up your room," she added as afterthought nearly tripping over a pair of running sneakers. There was a loud snore followed by his mumbling.

"Yes, Mom." She froze and waited in case he moved again, but there was nothing.

"Good night Tony." She retreated to the hallway, locking the door behind her. Her hand rested on the handle a moment longer. "You'll be all right." She turned back toward the entrance and found Matt waiting by the car still.

"Next?"

"It's just a little walk from here."

"I would prefer it if you got in the car Director, it's late."

"Matt..."

"I could call Agent Gibbs."

"You would," she snorted, knowing her security detail had found her weakness. Ever since she slipped them in France, they'd threaten her with calling Gibbs. It was mainly for her sanity that she gave in. She got in the car reluctantly, and Matt tried to hide the tiniest smile. He did love his job; she may be the most independent woman in the world and thus a nightmare to look after, but she at least had a sense of humor. He would have accompanied her to LA, but his fiancee's parents were coming into town, and Jenny had understood his fiancee wanting him there better than he did. The next building they approached was a newer building that held huge apartments. He'd been there once before when he'd accompanied Agent McGee home.

"Director?"

"I'll be just a moment," she assured, getting out on her own and walking up to the marble entryway. _ By day a federal agent, by night a world-famous author _ ,  _ Tim, you have the best of both worlds _ . She entered the apartment quietly, not at all surprised to find the lights on. She knew McGee had a deadline coming up; he had asked to be taken off a weekend duty for a book publication party. She hoped the new book would have less Colonel Lamb, and had told the younger man as much before wishing him luck. She found McGee on the lower level hunched over his type of writer, sound asleep. "Tim?" He stirred but settled, and she smiled at the pile of paper balls at his feet. "You can't burn the candle at both ends, Tim, believe me, I've tried. Don't worry, it'll come to you, and I'm sure the new book will be as big success if not more," she encouraged quietly. "We never got to know each other very well, I'm sorry for that now, Abby always speaks so highly of you, and Ziva too. I know sometimes you wonder if Gibbs appreciates you as much as the others, but he does, and I do. You're the new kind of Agent, Tim, and one day, I think you'll be Director." She moved slightly, taking a throw from the couch and gently draping it over him to keep him warm. "Goodbye, McGee, take care of them."

She moved quickly to the door this time and locked it up, trying to hold the tears back. She was surprised at how much that one had bothered her, but McGee, like the others, had managed to worm his way into her heart, and she was sorry she'd never get to see the day he became Gibbs' boss.  _ That'd be one heck of a sight. _ She made her way back to the car, Matt standing ready to open the door, and she sat down, taking a deep breath.

"Any place else?"

"Two more and then we're done, I promise," she assured.

"Of course, Director," Matt answered. "Where to?"

"Dr. Mallard's."

"You all right, Director?"

"Yes, Matt, I'm fine," she lied gently. Matt nodded and started the car navigating it through the streets. They pulled into the stone home with the Morgan parked outside it and the lights off. Jenny carefully got out of her car, fingering the key on the chain. She was about to insert the key into the lock when the door opened, and she came face to face with the good doctor in his night robe.

"Jennifer."

"Ducky! I uh...was in the neighborhood," she tried.

"Hm...I was just about to let the dogs out, why don't you join me for a nightcap." He opened the door and pushed the corgis out of the way.

"No, thank you, I..."

"Jennifer," Ducky said sternly, and she sighed, entering the house slowly. "Now, what can I do for you, Director?"

"We're back to Director?"

"You don't usually enjoy being called Jennifer."

"I think I'll take it over Director today, Ducky you know what's going on, I think that qualifies using my first name."

"Very well, what brings you by?"

"Nothing I was just...out for a drive, Matthew is nearly as bad as Gibbs with keep tabs on me."

"And the latter is getting worse I take it," Ducky guessed.

"Gibbs asked me if I had a health concern."

"He asked me the same," Ducky confessed.

"Ducky!"

"I said nothing; this is between you two."

"Thank you, Ducky, I...I know this isn't easy to keep this a secret, but I'm sure you can understand why it has to be so."

"Frankly, my dear, I don't understand how you can keep this from him, especially knowing what you do."

"I'll...I'll tell him," she agreed. Ducky raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "I will! As soon as I get back, I'll tell him; I'm just...I don't think it will do a lot of good."

"Try not to use Dutch courage; just be honest with him."

"We haven't been honest with each other for a long time."

'Maybe its time to start, just don't write him a letter," Ducky suggested. She nodded, standing up slowly cringing. "You've already done it."

"It's barely started, but I will tell him in person if you prefer." Ducky nodded. "Well, I've kept you up long enough, I'll see you when I get back," she said.

"All right then, good night Jennifer, safe flight," he said, taking a sip of his tea. Before standing and walking her toward the door. She turned impulsively and kissed his cheek.

"You'll take care of him, won't you?" She asked.

"Of course, how much trouble can he get into while you're gone for three days?"

"You never know," she laughed forcibly. "Goodbye, Ducky." She turned out the door, dodging the corgis before getting back into the car and tell Matt where to go next. They pulled down a residential street next, and Jenny observed the house noting for any kind of light in the windows. She got out at the specific address and took a deep breath.

"Director," Matt began.

"Hm?"

"Calleigh lives just two streets over, and I thought maybe..."

"Can you get a ride back to the car tomorrow?"

"She wouldn't mind."

"Off you go, then. Tell her I said hi."

"You sure you'll be all right."

"I'll be fine," she replied, not sure if it was accurate at the moment.

"See you tomorrow." She nodded and watched as he got out and jogged off the street. She turned to the door and took a deep breath. If he was awake, they could talk about Decker, and she was sure she could make him believe that all she wanted to do was reminisce as was tradition, nothing more. If he was asleep, well, then perhaps she could get this all off her chest. She slowly turned the door handle, not surprised to find it unlocked. She entered the dimly lit house and removed her heels to avoid detection. The keychain with the spares she'd been holding onto like a lifeline she left on his countertop next to the coffee maker. He wouldn't be able to miss them there. She moved to the living room, finding it empty and turned to the basement. She opened the door as quietly as possible and slipped down the stairs to find some overhead lights on. The boat,  _ The Kelly _ , was coming along nicely, and she affectionately ran her hand over it. She found Gibbs asleep underneath it, snoring ever so slightly that brought a smile to her face. Jenny spotted the bourbon resting on the counter along with the magazine from a gun that she'd given him. That confession could wait, she decided as she carefully knelt under the boat and crawled into it beside him.

"Jethro," she called gently, seeing how asleep he was. He barely twitched. She carefully lay herself down alongside him, ignoring the pain in her joints as they protested the movement. "I know you don't believe in apologies, but I am sorry," she whispered, trying to keep her tears at bay. "I did what I thought best, and perhaps career-wise, it was, but I know my heart hasn't been completely in it," she laughed bitterly. "How can it be when you still have it?" She asked. "I've accepted this reality, Jethro, I know it's not pretty, and I know it won't end pretty, but I've accepted it, and I know you'll fight it tooth and claw but please, just let it go. I lied in the elevator, but I couldn't tell you then."

Jenny gently traced her hand along his face. She took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears in her eyes as she felt one escape. 

"I couldn't tell you when it mattered and now its too late, I'm going to do what I should have ten years ago, and you're not going to like it, but you'll understand eventually. You always do." She paused, wiping a tear away. "I shouldn't be staying this long, but...I miss you, Jethro, I always have, I just couldn't say it, and now I can't say it, or tell you anything. It wouldn't be fair for me to have what I want, just so you can lose everything later," She took another deep breath. "I'll keep Tony and Ziva safe, they'll be there for you, don't be so hard on them."

She leaned closer, memorizing the image before her. She felt his breath on her lips as she inched forward and felt tears slide down her cheeks.

"I love you." She let her lips close the distance briefly before pulling away. "Goodbye, Jethro," she whispered before standing and scurrying out the back door, taking care to keep it from slamming. She never saw his eyes open.


	2. The One Where Gibbs has a different Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The One Where Gibbs has a different plan.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs opened his eyes after a disturbance on his senses. At first, he wasn’t quite sure what it had been, but then it came to him. He’d been lying on his back under the boat when he heard the footsteps. He was assured of his safety when he identified the padding feet as unheeled size sevens, i.e., Jenny. He was curious as to what she was doing. She’d been unapproachable lately, and he was just about ready to corner her again when he’d heard about Decker.  _ Her reaction to THAT was interesting _ , Gibbs thought. She had seemed almost worried and had immediately said she would have to go out there. There was something about the way Jen said it that made him want to go, and on the other hand, wanted to accuse her of cheating, she was that affected by this death. Yes, it was tragic, he was a friend, but Gibbs didn’t get why she was so bothered by it and wondered if she was going to share anytime soon. Gibbs kept his eyes closed and tried not to stiffen as he felt her slim body slide in the boat alongside his. He was going to ignore how right it felt to have her beside him. 

“Jethro,” she whispered his name, and he kept the smile away from his lips. He was just a little curious to see what she would do if she got up to leave he would wake up, but if she didn’t...well he was curious. 

_ Nothing wrong with that, _ he decided. 

“I know you don’t believe in apologies, but I am sorry,” there was a pause, and he thought she might have sighed. “I did what I thought best, and perhaps career-wise it was, but I know my heart hasn’t been completely in it,” her laugh was not her normal happy one, he could taste the bitterness in it. “How can it be when you still have it?” 

That was news to him. He tried to keep his face expressionless and hoped to God she wasn’t going to leave it at that. So yes, he had been stalking her day planner to try and find out if there was someone, but he hadn’t been ready to act on it yet. Wasn’t sure he’d ever be prepared to act on it. 

“I’ve accepted this reality, Jethro, I know it’s not pretty, and I know it won’t end pretty, but I’ve accepted it, and I know you’ll fight it tooth and claw but please, just let it go. I lied in the elevator, but I couldn’t tell you then.” 

Gibbs tried to hold back the anger. He knew she had lied; somewhere deep inside him, he knew something was going wrong. He’d suddenly wished he’d ‘woken up’ because he knew he didn’t want to know about this, about how long she had if it was that bad. His thoughts, however, seemed to calm as he felt her gently trace her hand along his face. She took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears in her eyes as he thought one escaped. 

“I couldn’t tell you when it mattered, and now it’s too late, I’m going to do what I should have ten years ago, and you’re not going to like it, but you’ll understand eventually. You always do.” 

He would disagree as he had no idea what she was talking about.

“I shouldn’t be staying this long, but...I miss you, Jethro, I always have, I just couldn’t say it, and now I can’t say it, or tell you anything. It wouldn’t be fair for me to have what I want, just so you can lose everything later,” 

He heard her take a breath, and he fought his automatic reaction to hold her in place. If she left, he didn’t know what could happen; if he held her, he could keep her close. 

“I’ll keep Tony and Ziva safe, they’ll be there for you, don’t be so hard on them.” 

Now he really wasn’t liking this situation except that he felt her moving even closer, and her presence was wreaking havoc on him. He tried to picture her in front of his closed eyelids and felt her breath on his lips as it came closer. There was sudden dampness, and he guessed she was crying. 

“I love you.” He heard her whisper brokenly before he felt her lips on his seconds later. He wanted to respond but knew he couldn’t and tried to keep her there longer. He felt her pull away and heard her voice again. “Goodbye, Jethro.” 

Once he knew for sure she was gone, he sat up and looked around the basement in a vain hope that she would come back. He knew she wouldn’t. There was something about the tone of her voice, the touch in her hand; something was different. He knew the feeling, she was saying goodbye with her actions, he had felt it once before on a night similar to this when they’d made love till it felt like the stars had all fallen, and he’d gone to sleep with the knowledge that she’d be tucked close to him when he woke up. That was not meant to be, and he’d woken up alone, cold, and with a feeling of dread surrounding him. That same feeling was now creeping into his gut like a wintry frost, and he knew he had to stop it, stop her. He figured if she were retiring, he would have heard about it, but this wasn’t just a maybe see you soon, this was permanent, whatever she had in mind was permanent. Her apology for lying in the elevator raised the possibilities of a terminal illness, but in his heart, he knew she would never take that lying down. She’d find her way out, and he didn’t like that idea. As hard as it was for him to admit suicide ran in her family, theoretically anyway, and he knew what it could take to push her over. It was his job to find her now since he hadn’t been that great about helping out lately. He’d solve this. 

Gibbs grabbed his keys and drove the car toward Georgetown, pulling up in front of the darkened townhouse. He didn’t see any lights and hoped that meant she’d just gone to bed. He carefully entered the house, waiting for an alarm or a bodyguard to attack, but there was nothing, only silence. He cleared the first floor and found it empty, so he moved to the second floor. Empty. He went down to the study to look for some clue as to her whereabouts; he shuffled the papers on her desk, trying to memorize the order when his hand touched her stationary. He pulled the single sheet away and found the phrase that he knew meant the end, _ Dear Jethro _ . That was it, no date, nothing more on the page, but he knew what it was, and the anger that filled him was struggled with by his worry. Whatever she was doing, she wasn’t planning to come back from; he had to find her first. He glanced at his watch and knew she’d be on her way to the airport.  _ Perfect. _ He pulled out his cell phone and proceeded to call in all the favors he owed. Two hours later, he was on the plane to LA. 

* * *

Jennifer Shepard was pissed off. She’d been up late the night before dealing with unfinished business, and ever since then, the world was conspiring against her. Tony and Ziva had arrived on time and ready to go for a change, Tony, of course, cutting it close. Both had mentioned to each other, she’d been eavesdropping, that they’d had the strangest dream, but when Jenny inquired, they both lied. She wondered if perhaps they were considering it wasn’t a dream. Jenny certainly hoped the consideration would stop when they got to LA before one or both could piece it together or talk to their other teammates or worse, Gibbs. It hadn’t stopped the whole flight over, and they’d been allowed to fly first class because the SecNav’s plane was in for repairs. She didn’t mind commercial flying, but she thought it was a little ridiculous they charged so much for alcohol. The second they’d landed, the three had been escorted off the plane by TSA officials and brought to an interrogation room. No amount of her title seemed to dissuade them. 

“Anyone got any outstanding warrants on them?” Tony inquired lightly.

“That would be Gibbs, not me,” Jenny answered shortly. Tony tried to question further but found it futile, so he turned to Ziva.

“And you, Ziva?”

“It is possible. I am sure someone somewhere pieced together what I do.” 

“Great,” Tony muttered. “Stuck with an assassin and the Director...hey Director you got a coin?”

“Tony you’re not getting my coin; you can rub elbows with someone else.” The doors opened. 

“DiNozzo, David, you are free to go,” a guard announced. “Shepard stays.”

“WHAT?” Jenny snapped. “I’m the Director of NCIS!”

“I’m sorry ma’am, but we’re waiting on confirmation of this; the ‘SecNav’ was unavailable.”

“Goddamn...” she trailed off, cursing under her breath. 

“Director we can...” Ziva began.

“Go call Gibbs and tell him I’m gonna kill him,” Jenny warned.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but threatening a...”

“She was kidding!” Tony assured. “They really do love each other, kill means kiss, they...they got bored of saying the same old thing,” Tony continued with a smile realizing he had Jenny’s background at his mercy. 

“DiNozzo,” Jenny hissed. 

“Okay, I’ll buy that, for now,” the guard said and removed one set of handcuffs. “I’m afraid the other cuffs have to remain.”

“Director...” Ziva tried again.

“GIBBS NOW!” She snapped, finally losing her patience. 

“On it, Boss!” Tony jumped before glancing back and catching Jenny’s self-satisfied smirk. 

“You are never going to die that down,” Ziva teased.

“Live it down, Ziva, live it down,” Tony corrected with a sigh. “We better call Gibbs.”

“And tell him what?”

“Boss we got the Director in the custody of the TSA agents, and they don’t believe she’s the Director?” Tony tried. 

“You call,” Ziva informed, handing the phone over. Tony muttered complaints and held the phone away from his ear.


	3. The One Where The Team Joins In

Gibbs got off the plane and met Fred, the head of TSA, on the west coast. They shook hands as if it was nothing unordinary, and Fred led Gibbs down the corridor to a sealed door marked  _ Authorities Only _ . They entered silently, and the doors closed behind them. Gibbs reached into his coat and pulled out a Cuban cigar Mike Franks had sent him not to long ago. 

“Much appreciated, Jethro,” Fred responded.

“So?”

“Oh, she’s feisty all right, your loyal St. Bernard gave up defending her threats of murder as signs of affection. She thinks you are purposely unavailable to vouch for her.”

“I’ll fix it, no worries.”

“You two having a lovers’ quarrel?” Fred inquired, curious about his friend and the lovely redhead.

“Not exactly,” Gibbs replied. “She’s stubborn, no doubt ready to slip her security detail, this was insurance to make sure she wouldn’t get into trouble.”

“Sounds complicated.”

“She is.” Fred opened another locked door. 

“You have a visitor, Ms. Shepard.”

“It’s Director Shepard!” She bit back. Gibbs followed Fred in, and the glare he was receiving intensified. 

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Fed assured before leaving. Jenny waited all of two seconds after the door closed.

“It’s about time! Where the hell have you been? Don’t you have a rule about always being reachable?” She rattled off. Gibbs calmly moved and sat down across from her.

“Don’t forget to breathe, Jen.”

“Don’t you Jen me! They think I’m some kind of terrorist or something. They let Ziva go for crying out loud!” 

“Ziva had all her papers.”

“So did I?”

“Well, you know how it is, a couple of Probie agents think they’ll get someone important.”

“I had nothing on me!” Gibbs opened the file folder Fred had handed him.

“Two concealed weapons, and evidence of a knife on the person. Knife recovered after a search.”

“A strip search.” Gibbs tried to hold back the choke and glared toward the window where he knew Fred was watching amusedly.

“Well, where did you hide the knife?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she shot back. Gibbs refused the bait.

“With all those weapons on you, maybe they thought you were an arms dealer,” he informed casually.

“An arms dealer?”

“Sure, NCIS is the bottom of the food chain; not many people know we have a female director.”

“So SecNav sent you after me.”

“Yea, sure. C’mon,” he gestured to her.

“How about you uncuff me first!” Gibbs smirked as he let her out of her restraints. He grabbed her briefcase and felt the heel in his foot. He tried not to give her the satisfaction of a wince, “Something wrong?”

“Everything is fine, let’s get you out of here before your Mossad agent returns for you.”

“Ziva was at least supporting my claim.” Gibbs ignored the comment. They wandered out of the restricted area and found Fred standing at the baggage claim’s exit with Jenny’s bags. 

“Sorry for the mix-up ma’am,” he said quite warmly and got a perfected feminine Gibbs’ glare for his trouble. “Gibbs.”

“Fred, enjoy the cigar,” Gibbs said as he led Jenny out of the building. It took Jenny all of about a minute, mainly the time to get in the car’s front seat that was waiting for them before it clicked. 

“You had me detained!” She snapped, shocked.

“What?”

“You had me detained at the airport! You’re the reason I spent five hours sitting cuffed to a table!” She shouted as they began to drive.

“I did not!” Gibbs protested, trying to hide a smirk.

“Leroy Jethro Gibbs! Don’t you backtalk to me! I know you did it!” She argued. “So why? Why did you do it? Why did you bother to let me go? The amusement wore off?”

He looked at her in surprise. She was seriously pissed at him. He wondered for half a second if it would be worth fighting with her temper to get to the point. She was not going to go easy on him one way or another.

“I...” he was going with innocence.

“I know when you lie, and you’re lying, so stop and give me a straight answer why you felt the need to interfere in my plans,” she ordered her voice going calm.

“Tony and Ziva obviously couldn’t handle it,” he answered, hoping the slight change of subject would get her to bite.

“Couldn’t handle your prank?”

“Obviously not, I had to come out here and get you. You could slip them.”

“This is all about me possibly slipping my detail?”

“You can’t go off on your own, so yea, it’s about that!” He challenged. She sat silently, brewing in the front seat as he sped off down the road. 

“The funeral is tomorrow; I need to go to the hospital.” 

“New plan,” Gibbs answered. He continued driving, keeping it fast enough that he didn’t think she’d do something stupid like a jump.  _ Still, knowing her... _ He placed one hand over the one resting on her thigh, and she shifted slightly, shooting him a glare. He ignored it and tried to ignore the messages traveling from his hand to other parts of his body. Nearly a half-hour later, they pulled up in front of another high-end resort that Jenny felt her breath catch at the sight of.  _ St Regis...no way either of us can afford this. _

“Jethro...” She said slightly, still in shock. “We...”

“I have friends too, Jen,” he said matter of fact. He parked the car at the valet and went around to open the door for her as a bellboy grabbed both their bags. “Just smile,” he cautioned as he wrapped his arm around her waist. The switch turned, and she became the perfect actress smiling on his arm and walking alongside him into the immaculate entryway. Gibbs stopped at the concierge, and a young man in a suit was immediately in front of them. “Midas,” Gibbs said to the young man. 

“Ah, Mr. And Mrs. Midas we are so glad you could join us, Mr. Gemcity has insisted you take his usual room,” the young man informed. “Would you like to retire or have a drink on the beach?”

“The room, my wife has had a long flight,” Gibbs said politely. 

“Of course, Sir. Sean, please bring these bags up to the Presidential Suite for the Midas’.” 

“Right away, Sir, if you’ll follow me,” Sean said. Gibbs led Jenny off in the direction Sean went with their bags. 

“Presidential Suite? Just how much money does McGee make off those books?”

“He just signed a movie deal; he wanted to express his gratitude for me not burning the original copies.”

“Right, and this just happened to occur the week that I have to go to the funeral of our friend Decker.”

“Nah, just seemed like the perfect opportunity, I mean when’s the next time we’ll come to LA?”

“We?”

“Well, yea, you said you always wanted to go to LA and stay at the St. Regis and pretend you were someone else, right?”

“Jethro I was...” she paused. “Incredibly drunk when I said that, how did you remember?”

“Eh...wrote it down,” he told her, pulling out his old investigator notepad. “Thought it might be important.” 

“Midas?”

“King Midas, McGee said something about a hand of gold,” he whispered, trying not to draw attention. They moved toward an elevator, and Gibbs let Jenny step on before him. 

“We’ll continue this conversation later,” she returned, smiling sweetly at Sean as he pressed a button and the elevator doors closed. When they reached the floor, the doors were opened, and a man in a butler's outfit stepped out, Jenny knew it was McGee. 

“Thank you, Sean; I’ll take it from here,” McGee said.

“Of course, Tim.” Jenny watched McGee take the bags and move inside the room. 

“Welcome to St. Regis, Mr. and Mrs. Midas,” McGee greeted as the doors closed. The second they were alone, his entire persona changed. “Director.”

“Agent McGee, I trust there is...a reason for this?”

“Boss everything is in place, Ziva had Cynthia cancel the reservation, she and Tony are working up their cover story.”

“And you?”

“Abby’s getting changed, and then we’ll be in place as well, Ducky will be filling in, seemed rather insistent about it.”

“Ducky? Abby? What is going on?” Jenny demanded. 

“Ah, Mr. And Mrs. Midas, so glad you could come today,” Ducky’s clear voice echoed into the grand entryway, and Jenny froze as she saw her old friend. Butler's attire, the whole thing screamed it. Ducky was undercover. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“Abbs, you’re up!” Gibbs called, stepping out onto the porch and gesturing with McGee. Abby appeared in a black summer sundress. 

“Jenny!” She squealed, hugging her tightly. Gibbs caught the tiny wince and exchanged a look with Ducky, his conclusions becoming more and more reliable.

“Abby, what’s your hand in this?”

“Oh, I’m just Thom E. Gemcity’s date for the week. He’s dropped off the social scene and got spotted in DC last week, so his publisher told him to do something about it.”

“This is about the new book,” Jenny guessed.

“Yea, something like that, don’t care, Gibbs told me to come as soon as I could, say I had the strangest dream last night, which is weird cause I have a lot of strange dreams, but you were in it.” Jenny smiled affectionately.

“And that makes the dream strange?”

“No, you were just acting differently, you...you left,” Abby said sullenly, trying to remember the fragments.

“I left NCIS? DC? Your lab?”

“I...I don’t remember, you said something about Gibbs and left; it felt like you weren’t coming back,” the young Goth replied sadly, sitting down on the luxurious couch before shaking her head. “You wouldn’t do that, though!” Abby decided happily. 

“Abby...”

“Nope, besides, you know if you left I could find you, I’m good at the hacking stuff,” Abby reminded.

“I know, Abbs, I know,” Jenny smiled. 

“Abbs, Gibbs wants us to put in some appearances,” McGee said, coming in off the porch. 

“See you later,” Abby said, following McGee through the door. “Bye, Ducky!” 

“Goodbye,” Ducky responded, coming into the room. “Anything else, madam?”

“Ducky, you got the memo,” Jenny teased.

“My apologies, Director.”

“Ducky...what’s going on?” 

“You’d have to ask Jethro. He just told us to come out and join you. I think someone tipped him off. He called me, asked if I’d seen you, told him I saw you early this morning, and he went off.”

“So the stalling at the airport was to delay me till you were all here,” Jenny guessed. 

“I wouldn’t know about that,” Ducky assured. Jenny shook her head. “He seemed very upset; I had thought you had perhaps changed your mind and told him...”

“No. No, I haven’t.”

“Told me what?” Gibbs inquired, stepping further in the room off the porch. Jenny stood up to be on even ground and glared between Gibbs and Ducky. 

“You set me up,” she whispered harshly.

“Jennifer, I did not do any such thing,” Ducky snapped as if scolding a little girl. 

“I set you up,” Gibbs confessed. Her eyes widened as she turned to him. 

“You...why the hell would you get Decker killed?”


	4. The One Where Gibbs and Jenny Decided to work together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this ends rather ambiguously. There's room for more chapters and I had ideas, I just also think this is a good spot to end too. Sorry in advance

“Decker? Wait, I thought this was about your illness,” Gibbs demanded. Jenny covered her mouth. 

“I think I’ll see about polishing the furniture,” Ducky said, walking off trying to get out of earshot as fast as possible. They waited before Jenny turned away from Gibbs, trying to find the nearest exit.

“Don’t even think about it, this time I’m going to follow you,” he warned. 

“This time?” She scoffed. He held out a folded piece of paper. “What’s this?” He handed it to her, and she found the letter she had begun from her desk. “How did you get this?”

“I think the bigger question is, is there a point to arguing about this?”

“What’s that supposed to mean? You broke into my house and went through my stuff!”

“Ah technically, I only broke into the house, and even then, I used the spare key,” he held up a ring filled with keys. “Then, in the quest to ensure the Director of NCIS’s safety, I happened to come across the letter.” 

“In the quest to...you had me detained at an airport!” 

“Well, I had to catch up, seems like I’m always doing that when you’re around,” he sighed. He sat down on the couch in front of her. “What’s this about Decker?”

“Nothing, back to you finding out, you haven’t told me what you know, or think you know?”

“I know you’re leaving, again,” he replied. “I know something’s wrong with you, and you haven’t told anyone. Whatever it is, you’re determined not to let it get the better of you, and that only leads to one thing, you taking matters into your own hands.”

“I’m not sure I like the implication.”

“Oh no, you wouldn’t do it yourself, but you’d put yourself in a situation ensuring that the only one to get hurt would be you and the bad guys. Tell me when this sounds new.”

“And you came to this conclusion from some observation.”

“Among other things.”

“Other things?”

“Had this dream about you last night, which isn’t really an odd occurrence, but the dream was different.”

“I don’t want to hear this...”

“Nah...the other dreams you wouldn’t want to hear about, this one was different. You looked just like you did that time in Serbia when you took a round to the thigh. So damn determined to go on still, you wouldn’t take no for an answer. I knocked you out just to make you bearable.”

“I knew you knocked me out.”

“Yea, not the point, point being this dream was different. It was too real.”

“Jethro, you’ve been exhausted, your body was just coping with sleep deprivation.”

“Jenny, I know the difference between a real you and a dream you, believe me, I know, last night you were real. So the only conclusion is that you were in the house, but I don’t remember inviting you in or calling… which means you came by yourself in the middle of the night to say goodbye.”

“This is all a fascinating theory, Jethro, but it doesn’t answer my question.”

“How I know about your illness? Oh, you said you lied in the elevator,” he watched as her face tensed. “And then I planned to interrogate Ducky.”

“You were going to interrogate Ducky?” She exclaimed.

“I would have given him the impression you told me and then just asked general questions. But then I found the letter and felt the need to accelerate things.”

“Great.”

“So why don’t you just tell me?”

“Why? Because Jethro, it’s going to kill me, and I was going to tell you.”

“Liar.”

“Oh, just...” she faded off. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“I wouldn’t...” he faded off. “Why wouldn’t I understand?”

“You’re always trying to fix things, this you can’t fix.”

“No, I can’t, but I can drag you to a doctor, Ducky has notes about an operation.”

“That operation has no guarantee.”

“But it can cure you. Therefore worth the risk, besides your plan, has the same risks. There’s no guarantee the bad guys will shoot at you.”

“They will if I’m the only target,” she muttered. Gibbs froze.

“That’s why you asked Ziva and Tony along; you knew they would listen to you. Tony still holds a grudge, Ziva will do what you say.”

“You’ve got this whole thing figured out,” she said quietly, sitting.

“Yea...except how the bad guys factor in unless you want to tell me about this Decker thing.” She was silent as she stared at her hands; he suddenly entered her vision. He sat across from her, taking her hands in his, he could feel the slight tremors and squeezed a bit tighter. 

“Decker died of a heart attack.”

“Yes...you told me that.”

“He didn’t die of a heart attack.”

“Okay...then what did he die of?”

“More like who from,” she answered. “We...we didn’t get out clean, in Paris.” He sat stunned for a minute before gripping her hands again. “Three shots, three kills.”

“You didn’t,” he guessed. Jenny immediately pulled her hands away.

“I tried to, I went there, but she was so like me, and all I could think about was when she found out she was going to kill you like you killed Anatoly. It made my decision to leave easier; I thought that if I did what was best, no one would get hurt,” she explained. “I’m sorry, Jethro.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. You shouldn’t have been sent for that kill,” Gibbs sighed. “I suspected that was why you’d left for a while; you weren’t like me, Jenny, none of this came naturally to you. Well, the murder part anyway. I was there when you shot your first suspect, and then just two years later, I’m asking you to shoot someone point-blank. I shouldn’t have asked. I should’ve done it.”

“You couldn’t protect me forever,” she reminded. 

“I could have eased you into, she would have been the fourth person you’d shot, and none of the previous had been murder, they were self-defense, or in defense of someone else,” he said remembering the time she’d shot the suspect that had been about to shoot him. “Not that I imagine you have a problem now.”

“Implying...”

“I’m sure if she appeared, you’d take the shot, you’ve been considering this.”

“I knew it was a possibility. The one that’s always there. It’s the only unfinished business left.”

“Not quite, unless you know something I don’t.”

“Meaning?”

“Well, the froggy thing, just a little too clean-cut for my taste, you ever locate your gun?”

“No.” 

“Jen...”

“Fornell gave you the folder, didn’t he?”

“Got it to me just before I left, should I even bother to look at it?”

“If it helps you sleep at night.”

“Does it help you?”

“I don’t regret that he's dead,” she said coldly. He shook his head, trying to piece together the dots on the ever-changing picture.

“You’re afraid you will if you have the surgery. The tumor could be accenting parts of your personality.”

“You just think you know it all,” she snapped, getting to her feet. “They come after me. They’ll come after you too.”

“And we’ll take them down together,” he announced. 

“It doesn’t work that way, Jethro,” she sighed. “Not this time.” Jenny turned away and moved towards another room in the massive suite. She felt her arm caught in his hand. 

“We tried it your way, let’s try it mine,” he suggested, gently rubbing her pulse point. She stared at his bright blue eyes, usually so distant. She knew he had been awake the night before. He’d heard her words, felt her touch, he knew what she’d tried to hide.

“We can’t, Jethro,” she whispered as he stepped closer to her. “I can’t do that to you. I know what you’ve been through.”

“You don’t get to make that choice,” Gibbs told her, his free hand gently tracing her neck. “My heart wouldn’t be in it if you were gone,” he whispered against her lips before gently kissing her. The kiss soothed her, and she responded, wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him back with equal passion and longing. It seemed to be the cue he was waiting for her because his touch turned possessive, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her even closer, her toes barely touching the marble floors. She had missed this feeling, this completely alive, in love and happy passion that made her not care that her shoes were just kicked off, that they were standing in the middle of a suite she could only dream about with their coworkers all around them. She didn’t care about anything, only about him. 

“Oh...I’ll come back later,” Ducky’s shocked voice interrupted like a cold hail. They pulled away from each other as best as they could, Gibbs hands holding Jenny by the waist, making sure she was steady. 

“Don’t you have doors to answers?” Gibbs inquired. Jenny chuckled into his shoulder. 

“But of course, Sir,” Ducky responded, feigning an accent. “Mind your blood pressure, Jethro,” the good doctor advised as he left the room. 

“Something you want to tell me?” Jenny inquired. 

“You know Ducky,” Gibbs shrugged. 

“Oh Jethro, before I forget, the thing you wanted has been all arranged for.” Ducky then did leave the room, leaving Jenny and Jethro laughing. 

“So, what’s this thing?”

“Ah...that would be plan b.”

“Plan B?”

“Well, if this didn’t work, I had to come up with something to keep you from going off on your own.”

“Uh-huh, and that would be?” He handed her a brochure for a spa with a package circled. “Coastal Romance?” 

“Yep. Keeps you insight and occupied.”

“Oh, really?”

“And it’s supposed to relax you, that’s a plus.”

“This is for couples.”

“Well, I couldn’t really conceive another way to make sure you stayed in the spa treatment. Besides, we were going to do this in the Alps, and actually, Decker called.”

“We have to go to the funeral.”

“That is tomorrow’s problem.”

“This afternoon.”

“Okay,” Gibbs sighed, going to grab her coat.

“And it’s possible that...that Decker gave up the code word.” He put the coat down and pulled out his phone. 

“DiNozzo, take Ziva to the funeral, if you hear the word Oshimaida, get a picture to identify, tail but do not approach.” Jenny reached for the phone in surprise, but he swatted her hand away. “You got that DiNozzo, you happen to identify a blonde woman named Svetlana, tell Ziva to do what she does best.”

_ “On it, Boss _ , _ what about the Director?” _

“DiNozzo!” The dial tone was his answer. He hung up his phone withholding the smirk at DiNozzo’s behavior. He turned around and wished he’d tried harder.

“Just what do you think you are doing?” Jenny growled. It wasn’t harsh; it was low, quiet. That was the thing with Jenny; the quieter she got, the more pissed off she was.

“Uh...rescheduling?”

“You can’t reschedule a funeral! I have to be there.”

“Decker would understand.”

“Decker would understand? Decker is dead because...”

“Because of a mistake, the three of us made. We all screwed up Jen, and if Decker could have told me, he would have made sure you never found out.” She was silent.

“That’s how you covered up the fact I shot someone.” He said nothing. “You told me you had to get some pictures from Decker, told me to wait, you came back an hour later with a folder, said you and Decker had a few drinks, and then proceeded to distract me quite well.”

“Is there anything you don’t remember?” Gibbs questioned aloud with a frustrated sigh.

“That’s why they came at you, you staged it,” she put together. “Just great, a decade later, and you’re still keeping things from me,” she muttered, moving back toward her suitcase. Gibbs caught her again, tickling her side gently.

“I think our communication skills just took a while to develop,” he teased.

“Sure, our communication skills,” she retorted. 

“Verbal communication anyway, I think we were good on the others.” She smiled as his arms wrapped around her middle, pulling her into his chest. “Let Tony and Ziva handle this, they can do it, and in the meantime, you can relax.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“You’re going to today. Tomorrow is a big day.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Ducky found a doctor.”

“What?” She paused. “This is why the huge suite, the undercover, everything?”

“Yes, you can recover in luxury, and then come back to work.”

“Jethro...I...I already filed papers, SecNav knows I’m leaving at the end of the year if I last that long.” 

“Well, that’s your decision,” Jethro said. “If that’s what you want, we’ll talk about it then.”

“We?” She echoed. 

“Did you miss the last five minutes?” Gibbs inquired. She pulled away again, and he pulled her back. “Don’t run away, Jenny, let me stay with you.” 

“Okay,” she agreed, trying to keep tears out of her eyes. 

“Hey, I didn’t want you to cry.” 

“No, it’s...I was saying goodbye yesterday and now...” He wrapped her in his arms and hugged her to him. 

“Now you need that relaxation,” Gibbs decided. She nodded as he grabbed their keys and led her out of the enormous suite and down to the spa. 

“You know I didn’t even see the bedroom,” she laughed, trying to lighten things.

“Ah, it’s the bathroom you’re going to like,” he assured. 

“Oh, really?”

“Master Suite bathroom has a whirlpool.”

“There’s more than one bathroom?”

“And bedroom.”

“For Ducky?”

“Uh well, I...”

“Your position is to protect me, right?” She inquired in her best Director voice. He nodded. “Well, you can’t do that from across the hotel room.” She walked out the door quickly, followed by Jethro.


End file.
